Well, I'm a 17 year-old dude and my name's Erik if you need to know. I live in some awkward city north of Chicago. I have fairly bad OCD, depression, suicidal thoughts, and no scars. Although I've been tempted (beyond belief), I have never cut, drunk, or done any drugs. I'd love to chat with anyone - if you need help or even if you're just bored out of your mind.

Reblogged from spookynightwing  291,797 notes







All credit goes to - japharts

**Trigger warning**

This, literally, is dead on exactly how I feel, and probably a lot of you guys too.

if you ever wonder why I’m surprised when you call me your friend or when you say you want to hang out or when you say you miss me

It’s sad some people think like this I want to give them a hug

This happens to me all the time…

Same. And I always feel bad cuz it’s not their fault

I can’t begin to say how much trouble this feeling has caused me. As a kid I had trouble keeping people around me. Someone new would come along and suddenly I was yesterday’s news. Only a small handful of people actually stayed with me, and to them I am grateful, but even they couldn’t keep this away.

I eventually became so accustomed to people just dropping me when someone new came along that I began to believe that that was how things were supposed to go. I was only meant to be people’s temporary entertainment until they found the person they really wanted to be friends with. I thought that going from one person to another when the last one ditched me in order to fulfill my need for attention, a basic human need, was alright, no matter how much it hurt me. After all, they were happy, and what kind of friend would I be to distract them from it?

I thought that this was how things were meant to be, and so I learned to bottle it all in, to never speak up about it. I was the extra. They deserved their happiness. I could manage by scavenging for it. They were my friends. Why would I interfere with their happiness with my own, insignificant little problems?

I managed to get over it eventually. Slowly, painfully, through an event that cost me several friends (?) and took over a year to get over completely, but I manged to make it through.

I hope.